Alpha vs Alpha Read online

  His voice sounded distant, thoughtful. Blade was the type who enjoyed a close-knit family. To him, I’d bet every shifter on the property were like brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles. Maybe even a special pair he looked on as mother and father.

  “Doctors are working on it. However, finding the issues are a dilemma, but fixing the problems will be so much more complex. Theoretically, the magic will wane from werewolves over time. My kind will fade from Earth right along with it. Like the spell that made us,” he finished.

  My brain was busily processing all information. “Other than the clothes acts, did you use magic on me in any other way? The truth, Blade.”

  “Never to coerce you, Hamm.” He leaned forward, kissed my lips softly. “I would never compel you to love me. I don’t have power of the sort and wouldn’t use if I did.”

  “What about enhancement?” I asked, suspicious. My emotions and jealous temperament had never run rampant until I met him.

  “I won’t lie to you. Yes, I did enhance your overall emotions because they were alive and waiting, but only after I knew you were my mate and only recently.”

  “When?” He hesitated. “When did you know I was your chosen mate?”

  “Before I went into the cave.”

  He was an expert at skirting or dancing over details to the absolute truth. In the short time we’d grown closer, I’d never known Blade to lie or deceive. Evade questions, easily.

  Squinting, I asked, “How long before you ‘went into the cave’?” I had a sneaky suspicion he’d determined we were mates during the chase and herding, or possibly the moment I’d trespassed onto his lands. He’d gotten a whiff of my scent. My detection ability wasn’t nearly as sensitive as his.

  When Blade licked his kissable lips, I was tempted to share in the sensuality, skim my tongue over the same places then delve into his mouth and enjoy his taste again. I needed to hear his response first. “Answer me.”

  The eyes of a liar would stray, lashes fluttering. Blade held my gaze. “When your family came to Colorado.”

  Twenty-six fucking years ago? I don’t believe this! Twenty-six years?

  “Actually, twenty-five years, eight months, and twelve days,” Blade replied, blushing. “I scented you the day Spencer Fairchild lifted his son—his firstborn—to view the vast lands handed down to his family. Your scent was on the breeze I inhaled. I’ll never forget that day, Hamm, or forget how my body reacted. I struggled to keep from transforming, from stealing you away from your family.”

  I sat on my heels between his legs, pondering. “So, basically, you can control your shifts to Were. Right?”

  “Correct, but not to feral Were.”

  “Aah. The hairy, red-eyed beast, the one who has no control.” Blade scowled. “I like him too, babe, especially during the full moon. I like all of you.” I had to think on stuff again. “Why did you come to me as Were the first time we met?”

  He swallowed.

  “Did you think I’d keel over with fright or run whimpering like an omega pup from the cave, tail tucked between my legs?”

  “Heart failure was a distinct possibility,” Blade replied and chuckled. “I knew you were Alpha, and Alphas don’t run whimpering from anything. It was a gamble on my part. I wanted you to see me—not at my utmost worst—in the skin I was born in, to see if you could handle it.”

  In the beginning, ambivalence was my game. Now, I can handle anything with Blade by my side, centering me. “What took you so long?”

  “So long to what?”

  “To claim me?”

  He sighed long and hard. “Do you honestly think your father would allow me, Blade Villere, to have his son or claim his eldest offspring at such a young age? Hamm, you were a child and if I took you, there was a damn good chance you’d resent me for years to come. You needed time to mature, to live life, grow, and make your own decisions. Become a man-wolf adult. Taking you—if only to nurture and protect you and, much later, share love with you, knowing only you had the power to control the monster—would have created more friction between our packs, attention I didn’t need or want.”

  “Don’t ever say that again, Blade. You are not a monster,” I insisted. On the contrary, obviously. My mate was undeniably passionate, caring, and supportive to all those he knew. The look he gave me spoke volumes of love. I hope he saw the same in my eyes. “I understand your meaning about friction, but seeing the full moon’s effect on you—”

  “Most of my natural instincts were, in a sense, tamed during the full moon. Not easily, I admit. I’d travel to New Orleans with Raleigh and sacrifice my urges while locked up in a cage, to keep from carrying out the unthinkable. Kidnapping. When you’d leave Colorado things were a tad easier to handle, although, jailing me was still necessary. Chances were, I’d have gone looking for you, love, and found you, eventually.”

  He ran a finger down my throat to my chest then flattened his palm over my heart. It thumped hard and rhythmically with so much love and joy. Had I known what I was missing…if we’d met sooner…

  “Your father despised everything I represented, even when he knew nothing about me or what went on here. Furthermore, for a man who’d never laid eyes on me or spoken to me while I was in human form, how do you think Spencer Fairchild would react knowing I’m Were?”

  Dad had the propensity to flip out over minor issues. Hearing of Blade’s curse or seeing his transformation, Dad would likely spit on the ground my mate walked on, if not on Blade. I grimaced.

  “Now you understand.”

  I wasn’t quite sure how to handle the situation destined to occur. Blade was my mate. Spencer Fairchild, my father. I had only one hope to ease the tension when Blade and Dad met. Catherine Fairchild.

  “I am not—and I mean never, Hamm—meeting your family.”

  Shit. Seems I needed to learn how to control my thoughts, or block them from Blade.

  “The same way you did within your old pack,” he said.

  Well, hell, I should’ve figured it out before now. Idiot.

  Old pack? They were still my pack, always would be. Seems I didn’t block the thought this time either. Blade’s eyes narrowed.

  “What’s wrong with meeting the family? I have great sibs. Nick, Devon, Cain, Tommy, and Kasey. You’d love my sister. A strong mother, you’ll like her too, and a—”

  “Controlling, stubborn patriarch.”

  My loving bubble popped. “Look, don’t badmouth anybody in my family, goddammit.” As I shook my fist in Blade’s face, a spark of gold glinted in his eyes. “He’s still my father and I still love him. My family will always be first and foremost in my heart.”

  “I see he means quite a lot to you. Fine. It’s ‘why’ that I have a hard time understanding,” he said, crossing his big arms over his bigger chest. “So, this must be our first lover’s quarrel. It never occurred to me the day would come so fucking soon.”

  His snotty tone and posture pissed me off, causing blood to thunder through my arteries and veins. “The first frigging quarrel happened last night,” I shouted. “And it’s looking like this one won’t be the last until you stop talking like the fucking, werewolf asshole that you are.” I couldn’t ignore his low growl and returned one of my own.

  “Like father, like son.” Blade stood, a waterfall rolling down his stellar body, and climbed out of the tub.

  Damn him. These days, I was nothing like Spencer Fairchild. “Don’t walk away from me when we’re talking.”

  Without turning, continuing across heated tile toward the snail shower as his muscles bunched and relaxed from shoulders to calves, Blade said, “Or what, Hamilton? We’re not talking, and I refuse to engage in a shouting match with you this early in the morning. Or any time of day. And I repeat myself, like father, like son.”

  “God damn you to hell.”

  “He already has.”

  For the first time in my entire life, I was stunned into silence.

  10

  As I
’d always known, apologies didn’t come easy for me. Thinking back, acts of contrition weren’t part of Dad’s repertoire either. Maybe his bullying and bellowing had tipped me toward protecting the weak and vulnerable, but I’d forgotten one important rule my mom always reminded me of: don’t pee on another person’s parade or they’re liable to piss on yours. She didn’t say those exact words. Mom never used foul or eyebrow-raising language.

  I hadn’t seen Blade since earlier this morning. He’d blown me off. Now, the umbrella protecting our love leaked from a cavernous fracture.

  My parade was drenched.

  Who could blame him for disappearing? Did I wait in his bedroom while he finished showering so we could finish the conversation…er…argument? Nope. Angry, I stormed back to the guest suite, soaking floors—and the pigsty we’d left behind—in my wake. Did I bother to seek him out to have our second, honeymoon breakfast together after we cooled down? Not. I stayed locked up, wallowing in anger, humiliation, and justifiable remorse. Shame. Did I attempt to say two, simple words—I’m sorry—after I rudely cursed him and indulged in childish name-calling? Heh. Why? Because I’m an Alpha. Because I’d always thought I had the right.

  Too many males worked their damndest to save face at every turn, uncaring if they spoke wrongfully, callously bruising another person’s ego.

  I’d shot down Blade in protection of my father. Was I wrong? Seriously? Maybe my style lacks in the protocol department.

  Yet, I’d badmouthed a guy who had one known family member, one he couldn’t acknowledge, when I’ve had seven immediate family members from the day I was born. I’d shot down a man who had brought together and given hope to the deprived, the misguided, and the downtrodden, treated them like family. The Fairchilds shunned outsiders; no out-of-state strays joined our pack, wolf or otherwise. As a matter of fact, Dad was suspicious of any lone shifter, male or female, looking for newer habitats. Guards ran them out of our territory per Dad’s say-so. Not Blade Villere. Like us he was wolf shifter, completely ostracized by distant relatives, and he’d suffered a raw deal in life with no way to alter his future.

  I’d bullied and bellowed at a person I loved and respected.

  Like father, like son.

  Sealing the damage between us, I had also denied belonging to my mate’s pack when I was not yet Alpha to the Fairchild pack.

  Hell. Blade might never want my company or to speak to me again. Mates were lifelong partners, once joined. Deliberately partitioning the union began a slow, agonizing death for both parties. Unless one chose their own termination to sever the bond. I ignored the last implication. Never would happen. My chest ached like the devil, though.

  As I stood outside his bedroom, heart thumping harder than a tom-tom, my hand flat against the hardwood door, I reached out to connect with the lover I never intended to hurt. Never wanted to lose.

  Blade, can come in? I’m sorry for acting like the shithead I’m known to be. I was wrong to—

  “He’s not in there.”

  I swung around at the sound of Saba’s voice. “Where is he?”

  “I’m not sure. There was a problem, a confrontation of some sort. A crisis. Shots were fired, one male wolf shifter found dead. All of our patrols are securing the perimeter and engaging in a search. All non-essentials are required to stay locked inside.”

  “I’m going after him.”

  “You can’t. You’re non-essential as of this morning.”

  Bullshit. I advanced on her. “So why are you here? Aren’t you essential? Don’t they need every available shifter?” Once I got rid of the jaguar, I’d find my mate. Together, with my nose and his stealth, we’d capture the asshole shooter. Punishment would soon follow. Death.

  Saba took a step forward too. Bold as brass, she got in my face. “To watch over you, babaca.”

  “I don’t need a goddamn bodyguard!”

  “According to Blade, non-packsters require guards while on the premises. Your name topped the list.”

  Goddammit! “I am pack,” I said in a deadly voice, disallowing any rejoinder denouncing my rights or status by subordinates.

  She held her ground, startling blue-gray eyes blinking slowly, focusing squarely on mine. Felines were so damn cynical, un-minding. “We all thought so when Blade broadcast his claim loudly last night, announcing you as his chosen mate and giving you the same powers as him,” Saba said.

  So wrapped up in consummating our union I didn’t realize he’d communicated with our pack. Frankly, I couldn’t see Saba bowing to anyone’s orders, including Blade’s.

  “Something changed this morning. He’s different. I’ve never seen him in such a state—remote, despondent, almost lethargic,” she said and paced across the wide hallway, stared at an abstract art form, then returned to her original place in front of me. “It’s so unlike Blade and it worries me, Hamm. Pack policy forbids him to engage on dangerous missions. We need him, and not for money or status. It’s his aura, his caring ways, the effect he has on the community. Blade’s the reason our shifter families are alive and thriving today. Without him… What happened? What the hell did you do to him? What the fuck did you say to Blade? Dammit, he loves you, asshole!” Anger spiked her words. Sharp, curved claws sprouted from her fingernails and her eyes narrowed menacingly, pissed. Given a reason, she’d spring and probably peel the skin from my bones in short time.

  I understood why, and I refused to discuss disparaging issues I’d initiated with anyone other than Blade. What his current plans were, I didn’t know. I didn’t care to speculate or think the worst, either. However, one way or another, we’d work it out together. “I have to find him, Saba. I will find him. He’s my mate. You’ll have to kill me to stop me.” I stepped around her and jogged toward the entryway.

  “If you hurt him again, know this, babaca,” Saba called out, “I will rip you to shreds.”

  No doubt she could if I deserved a killing. There was no need. I’d already vowed never to cause Blade pain—mentally or physically—ever again.

  I shifted into wolf skin the second I slammed the front door shut behind me. Lifting my snout, I twitched my nose, sniffed the still, mountain air determining the direction my mate had taken, then lowered my head as I broke into a dead run.

  I tried often to connect telepathically with Blade. No go. He’d blocked me. Or ignored my summons. Or maybe distance kept us from hearing one another.

  During my hunt, I ran into a variety of fierce, four-legged breeds in surveillance and in search. With Blade’s scent coating me, they knew I belonged to their leader. And he belonged to me. No matter what the last directive stated, I was not the animal they sought.

  The last pairs of patrollers—ferocious lions and menacing polar bears—I’d questioned had seen neither hide nor pelt of Blade. Their communications with him had gone unsuccessfully as well.

  My worries intensified. Villere land stretched far and wide; acre upon acre of mountainous and/or rocky terrain; groves of aspens and evergreens and other trees indigenous to the area; tall grasses and scores of dens and caves to hide in defense or in need of solitude. Or be hidden in. I refused to entertain a kidnapping scenario. Blade was physically capable of fending off an ambush singlehandedly. Today, though, the trespasser had killed using a gun, more than likely, loaded with silver bullets. Our pack would grieve for our kinsman.

  If the murderous bastard put a single malicious hand on Blade or fired one bullet in his direction, I’d turn the worthless viper into scavenger delicacies. Hyenas welcomed free meals.

  More disturbing, no one had nosed an alien scent on the property—human or shifter. To me, surrounded by an unknown forest, every life form other than Blade smelled foreign to my nose.

  His scent grew stronger as I searched onward. What the devil was he doing out there alone, moving farther and farther away from safety and pack protection? Was he stalking the killer?

  Blade! Where are you? Answer me, dammit.

  No response.

  The sun s
hone high in the sky and, luckily, the last snow dump had mostly melted. Clouds were converging into another system. With precipitation came tracking hell. My nose was good, not perfect.

  Blade!

  Go away. You don’t… This is not your home. Go back to your family where you belong.

  I belong here with you. You and our pack. We’re mates. There’s nowhere else I want to be. Tell me where you are and I’ll come to you. Blade, we need to talk. I do, at least. I’ve done foolish things before, but I never meant…I’m sorry for being an asshole. If we talk face to face, I’ll prove how much I care. Show how much I need you in my life.

  Silence fell all around me like a suffocating shroud as the sun dipped behind low-hanging clouds, darkening the mountainside. Still, Blade was silent.

  By now, he had cloaked his scent. He couldn’t cover his tracks and continue onward quickly. If I had to search the entire property, inch by inch, then so be it.

  You don’t need me, Hamm. Not like I… You have family—a mother, father, brothers, a sister to love—and they’ll love you back. I can’t give you more than you already have because…

  He couldn’t hide the groan. I knew the killing pain wracked his body as much as it did mine. Blade, wait! Don’t say that. You have given… And he wouldn’t listen.

  Because I have nothing as powerful to offer you. I can’t compete. I won’t try to compete. Go home. You belong at Fairchild’s. I’ve sent word to Spencer and Branson saying you’re well and your journey was delayed due to weather. Guards will escort you to the property line. Your father’s expecting you and there’s nothing to keep you here. Goodbye, Hamilton Fairchild.

  Stop. Just stop! I’m not leaving. I don’t take orders from anybody.

  I waited two thumping heartbeats.

  Blade?...Goddammit, answer me. No response came back. I’ll find you. If I have to search every square inch of this place, I’ll find you before…

  For the first time since childhood, tears blinded my eyesight. My chest—my heart—ached like a son of a bitch.